There are some days when one is subjected to more than a tolerant measure of gross tricks (read : embarrassing moments) from one's own kids. Today was one such that I'd rather forget never existed. There were times when I felt like disappearing into oblivion or just rewinding time and ensuring it didn't happen again. How bad can it get is what you are wondering right? Wait until you finish reading the post.
To begin with, which sane human being would put their hands inside the toilet bowl to tease one's mom? I'd rather not describe it in detail. And, yes please don't start off on what I was up to while LG immersed his hand in the clean bowl. Moms need wash their faces at times and get ready to step out of the house. The lid is always shut and who would have imagined in 9.7 seconds, a 22-month-old kid can actually push open the bathroom, flush the already clean toilet, open the lid and immerse his hand to irritate his mom for fun. Not funny in the least!
A few minutes later we go down for a walk. He is potty trained completely but not yet for urination. So I wouldn't term his susu session accidents - they are natural. I believe he understands that he needs to go to the bathroom every time he has a urge but he has fun doing it all over the place that I've no idea how to impress upon him this is not right. About three months back, for almost two weeks he did it in the toilet every time of the day with no accidents at all. And then out of no where he draws fun doing it in the kitchen, on top of the mattress, in the common area of the apartment - it just gets crazy at times. Today of all places, he climbs over his granny's mattress to relieve himself. Yet another time today, while I was changing him downstairs near the garden area, he peed on my hand! Not a proud moment. And followed it up with a second session in front of the flat so much so that it drew a concerned remark from someone who was observing, "Haven't you trained him yet?"
I wonder if there's a boundary for experimentation and a limit to the inquisitiveness. LG was in no mood for his fruit session this evening. But a while later, he opens the fridge to fetch a chickoo; runs into the toy room to get a bat and promptly calls, "Mamma Mamma, ba (for bat) and boi (chickoo for ball). In one shot he smashed the chikoo with the bat before I could react."
These are the moments I should remember before planning for the next one. Seriously.
Gross Moments of the Day
LG at School : First Day, First Hour
After visiting every play school in the vicinity, I finally made up my mind to send LG to one closer to home that satisfied most of my criteria.
Since I'd decided only the evening before, it meant last minute shopping for water bottle, snack box and getting the clothes in order. It's not exactly like the first day at a new job though it pretty much seemed like one for me. I had called the lady who runs the school that we would come by 10:00 a.m. for registration. All along I had conjured up images of this being an eventful moment for Lil' General with The Seniol and I driving him to school on the first day, waiting in the lobby whiling away time in the company of a few magazines while he spent carefree moments away from the eagle-eyed mom. I had imagined how we would be dressed in our best, with pictures taken of LG as he got ready for his first day so as to show him when he grew up - not quite liking graduating from Harvard but what the heck - it's these small moments that you live for!
But none of that was meant to happen. The day turned out to be a pretty ordinary one but will always be equally memorable to me. I don't have any pictures from the day; what will stay with me will be these words recounting the experiences of last Thursday - LG's first day at school. He made it easy for himself and me by getting up early as usual and going about his routine in order - with milk, potty and brushing session, a walk in the pram, quick shower, breakfast and we were all set by 9:30 a.m. It was an unusually hectic morning for me with the cook on leave and the maid turning in late; which meant my hands were working overtime and I was flying around the house doing laundry, fixing breakfast for everyone, cooking lunch considering I would return home only by afternoon with LG and his lunch needed to be ready when we got back. As if it weren't enough, the car started acting up and I couldn't risk driving him. The servicing guy for pick-up who was supposed turn up later in the afternoon showed up early morning, so he had to be accommodated in the short window available. Sometimes it amazes me as to how much work gets done when you have to be somewhere. Otherwise, work just expands to fill all the time and I'm left wondering what I had been up to the whole morning.
Both of us were all set to leave home by 9:30 a.m. with a bright red bag in tow and neat handkerchief clipped to the favorite blue-and-red shirt. I can't say with much conviction if LG really understood what was in store. I had prepared him all morning saying we were going to school where he would play, meet akkas, auntys and that we would get back home by afternoon. I can't gather what he made of this. We made the eventful ride on our ever faithful 'chotu' scooty. The moment we entered the school to the smiling face of the lady, LG was only too happy to leave my hands to rush to the cycles parked by the side of the lawn. I stopped by to see if he would turn back or join me after the initial excitement died. He didn't and it did break my heart for a moment. The lady ushered me in as we completed the formalities in the next 10 minutes. I wanted to stay back and I did; not because I thought LG would miss me for lose himself in the new environment but I knew I would miss him; the thought of going back home alone wasn't exciting. Those were the longest 2 hours I've waited anywhere and the fastest I've read in a long time. 3 magazines - 2 issues of Week and 1 issue of Outlook Money - back to back in 2 hours! In the hurry to get out of home, I forgot to take along books to keep me entertained while I waited. The lady was kind enough to fetch a few recent issues of some magazines and I figured if I finished them all as soon as I can, it would be time for LG to go home.
I saw very little of him through the two hours. The lady suggested if he knew I was around, he would expect the same every morning and it was a good idea to stay out of sight. I did steal glances once in a while when he was out playing in the lawn on the cycle. I had made a small aloo paratha for his snack that the lady struggled to give. LG resisted as he'd had a heavy breakfast. And I learned my first lesson - always to give a lighter snack preferably a fruit. Having never eaten from anyone else other than me , I wondered if they would have the patience to feed him. It's probably this insecurity that makes me ensure he has a good breakfast before stepping out every morning.
He played by himself the entire time that he was at school while the other seasoned kids went about their routine playing games, singing rhymes together. The lady reasoned it takes kids about a week to settle down and get over the enthusiasm of experiencing new things.
A few kids started early for home - at 11:45 a.m. Was I surprised to see our young man standing in line along with kids much older than him? This is when I couldn't resist and I stepped out. He was so happy to see me that he came running only to go back inside for yet another ride on the slide. This was more than enough to let me know that he had a good time. LG doesn't talk yet; I make an extra effort to draw meaning from his actions about how he feels - the smile after he got back home, the sleeplessness in afternoon from the excitement of being at school, the urge to cling on to is bag, the long face on knowing we were leaving school, and the happy good-byes!
In all, it was more than a perfect beginning. The only regret was The Seniol's absence. And I hope we can make up for that when he starts Big School next June!
Why should momma take a nap?
Do you remember the days your mom fell sick when you were a child and how much you hated it? Not having mom go around the house, doing the usual stuff, cooking up delicacies and i nothing else screaming at you for having entered the tidied drawing room with muddy shoes from the park? My first recollection of seeing mom sick was in my 6th grade. Mom was bed-ridden for a good 3-4 months from diagnosis that went wrong for typhoid. One thing led to another and before we knew she was sick for a good part of the year with medication ranging from common flu to malaria to para-typhoid. I was all of 10 years and my brother, 4 years younger than I, rushed mom to a hospital for IV as Dad was away at work. It's been 20 years since and she has never been in the pink of health. Seeing parents' fall sick is depressing for kids even if it were so much as a head ache.
Lil' General is too young right now to appreciate the difference between good health and sickness. All he cares about is his mom to keep jumping around the house, be at his beck and call all times of the day and most importantly not nap while he is awake. It has been a struggle to match my schedule with his this past year. The number of naps gradually went down from three to two and two to one now. He has been on a single nap routine for over two months now. The most challenging was the two-nap period when he slept at odd times - morning (10:30 a.m. - noon) and late evening (3:30 - 5:30 p.m.) - giving little room for me to rest. When I would want to rest for 30 minutes post lunch, he would be all over me jumping on my tummy, pulling my hair or plain screaming. I was so glad that phase was over when he got accustomed to the single-nap-in-afternoon routine. A few days back, he got up unusually early one morning and decided to nap mid-morning which meant the ordeal of dealing with him in the afternoon was daunting. I usually don't nap for more than 15 minutes in afternoons anymore unless I'm sick. That afternoon, I was pretty much under the weather and crashed on the couch after lunch. My dear toddler son very lovingly came up to me and opened my shut eyelids to scare the hell out of me. He quickly followed it up with every body part - parting my lips, jumping on the tummy, and screaming "momma, momma" and stuffing every available toy on my face. Not amusing in the least that I gave up finally to go play with him. The only way I could associate this behavior was how we as grown up kids felt towards sick parents.
Bedtime reading
Books and Lil' General are poles apart. So I often wonder when parents tell me they read to their kids who lovingly look at pictures and look forward to bedtime reading. I started reading to LG ever since he was 6 months old. Lucky were the days when I held his attention for a minute. The kid is more keen on flapping pages all eager to tear it into pieces every time he picks up a book. So for a while I got him those hard bound ones that are tough to tear - atleast for a year-old baby.
The Seniol and I are fond of collecting (and reading) books. As a tradition we write something as a signature on the first page followed by the date on which it was bought. Going back to LG's shelf in the book case, we are not surprised to see some dating back to as early as 2002 and 2003 when LG was not even in the 'thinking' stages, forget planning! But we knew all along that he would perhaps share our passion for books if he saw them in the house. Whether to read or not was his choice. I read my share of Nancy Drews and Hardy Boys early on by borrowing from the school library. And never remembered having any novels at home. You would find all sorts of books lying around the house starting with "Eats Shoots and Leaves" under the coffee table to "On Writing" by my bedside table to "The Borderless World" on the dining table. In good measure, there's LG's fairy tales books that I keep handy in his wardrobe. On most occasions, I satisfy myself reading Cinderella and Rapunzel over and over again while LG busies himself in other equally entertaining stuff like plugging in the mosquito coil or separating the pillow from its cover or trying some acrobatic motions on the bed to distract his mother.
So it was only surprising to see LG sit with me at bedtime listening to "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" and not shred the remaining pages. Capturing this moment on camera distracted him and here he is crying to get his hands on the digicam.
Yes. No. Maybe. Let's do it!
This was precisely how I felt about sending my 1 year 11 month old son Lil' General to school. A few days before Diwali, one morning I was absolutely sure LG should start school soon. It was becoming impossible to match up to his energy levels and hop from one room to another pulling down stuff, unplugging TV, switching on/off DVD players, stacking 3 DVDs into the player and when it refused to open up scuttling for a screw driver and throwing tantrums on realizing it is safely locked in the tool cabinet with the key out of his reach, three trips to the park, visiting every neighbor whose doors were open, a peaceful 30 minute walk and still I would run out of things to engage him.
With nap times dwindling from 3-hour sessions to a meager 1.5 hour one coupled with his excitement on our visit to Kidzee and another playschool nearby, I knew it was the right time for him to start schooling provided he enjoyed his time there.
I was clear on what I wanted from the play school LG would go to.
1. He should enjoy himself. This came on top above everything else - size, fees, big/small etc. For I knew, if this happened everything else would automatically fall into place. If the space was open and large, it was but natural for him to feel comfortable. He loves being outside than in confined spaces.
2. Proximity. I was no way going to let him go by a bus..not yet atleast. Which meant I would have to drop him and pick him every morning and the commute had to be quick so as not to be tiring for him either.
3. Attitude of the people who run the school. It had to be something small and cosy; nothing fancy with over-the-top facilities or ultra-rich kids coming to study. I want the place to give him pleasant memories and the 'want' to go back the next morning and not dread it as I did as a child.
My first schooling was amongst 1st graders when I was 3 years old because the place we lived in did not have a kindergarten. I dreaded going to school to be among older kids and would always stare out of the window to get a glimpse of mom (the classroom had a view of our home across the road). The fear of school stayed on for long so much so that I was the most happy on the last day of my Engineering - the thought of never having to go back to studying was very comforting. On the other hand, my brother with a formal education starting with kindergarten cemented some of his best friendships at school and was quite delighted to leave home every morning. The Seniol narrates similar tales of his schooling days. I want LG to have pleasant memories and exciting tales to tell when he grows. I don't know how much of his play home days he'll remember but now when he goes there, I want him to go because he likes to be there not because I get a 3-hour-break from my active toddler.
4. Montessori - I preferably wanted a Montessori system where he would get the opportunity to mingle with kids older his age and everything else that goes with it. I didn't care as much if he learns A B C at 2 years or 3 years. It's the least on my priority. Every time a neighbor points out that their son/daughter/grandson seconds the "A" with a "B" or goes on to rat 1..2..3 I don't give two hoots to it. A lot of time to catch up on the ABCs and colors.
Of all the playschools in the area, one in particular fitted all my criteria and I was all set to enroll him immediately after Diwali until someone said someone else had a bad experience. You know how rumors spread about these things with no concrete evidence. I didn't want to go ahead even with a tinge of doubt so I met the person who supposedly had the bad experience. She said the "allegations" were baseless and that she loved the school. I met one other parent who were sending their kids there. Two visits later, I just made up my mind one evening - much to the disappointment of LG's grand parents who thought he was too young to start school.
Oscillating between "yes", "no" and "maybe" had given me sleepless nights. You know how it is - to take decisions single-handed when your partner is away on work (or study!). And when it concerns a child, it gets all the more tricky for there is no one to second you. With the much-needed support from The Seniol and my father as always, I took the plunge not caring about popular opinion. In a jiffy shopped for water bottle, snack box and a few other essentials and we were all set to start school the next morning. Don't get me started yet as to how ridiculously expensive kids essentials are. A water bottle for Rs.250..are you kidding me? Anyways, got one for him. Was excited about the thought of LG getting ready for school and no compromises on anything. Until I reached the bag section and figured nothing cost less than Rs.600. Which is when I realized, we had a whole bag factory at home with our warehouse of Nike (from The Seniol's days at Nike), and American Touristers. One particular red AT bag was perfect for LG - just about his size and compact without the standard Mickey Mouse, Donald Ducky figures.
It's funny what took months of planning and contemplation turned out to be a non-event. More on it in the next post.
