The big decision : Where to have your delivery - mom's, in-law's or your place?

After the first wave of excitement, celebration and happiness about the impending arrival of the child is over, starts the big debate. The one on where to have the delivery - at mom's place, in-law's or in the city where you live. A lot of factors are involved and a lot of people have to be pleased while arriving at this decision. Many a times what people forget is what matters the most - the comfort and convenience of the mother-to-be. Her opinion matters the most. Our big debate started as soon as we knew that LG was conceived. My opinion was what mattered to everybody. Let me tell you there will be circumstances along the way such as an emergency (God Forbid there is none) that might prevent the mother-to-be from traveling etc in which case you might have to have it where you are. Nothing is sure in a pregnancy so be prepared for surprises along the way. Here are a few questions that helped us decide and something that might help you as well :

Factors to consider while planning where to have your delivery:

1. If all of you reside in the same city, then the hassles of traveling do not arise at all. The only decision to be taken then is where you want to be post-delivery. And similarly if your in-laws or parents live with you, I guess the decision would be made much simpler there as well. This topic requires a debate only if all of you live in different cities/countries and you are pondering whether to manage the show by yourself or thinking of traveling over or pondering to call one of them over.


2. If you are working, then from when can you be away from work. It is said that it is safe to travel until the 34th week by air. But this is something you might want to discuss with your gynaec in case you are considering having your delivery in a different city.


3. If you are working and would like to work sometime until your due date, then you are probably thinking of calling over either your in-laws or parents. In this case be sure of all the infrastructure you need and plan ahead - well before the due date. Set up the nursery, have the emergency numbers handy, pack your hospital bag, have the tickets booked for your parents/in-laws. Its a good idea to have these done by the 34th week. In addition to this if you would be employing domestic help , then train the person ahead of time and fix a lady who would bathe the child for the first few months, if you are planning to manage the show by yourself.


4. Parents or in-laws : Now this might be a tricky and a controversial one for many. This one might require a little support from husbands to decide as well. Mine were angels who understood perfectly that a girl will be the most comfortable at her parents' during this time. You might have gem of an in-law's but even in a lifetime a girl might (?) never feel free as she would be to her mother. And nothing can beat the support system and the care she would get at her mother's. There will always be that hesitation and a moment's thought before asking for anything if in-law's are around..simply put you can't feel free and be yourself right from dressing to behaving to being sloppy and to food habits to just being yourself. There would be a lot of off-days often termed as post-partum depression and you can beat the blues with that little encouragement from mom. I would highly recommend the mother-to-be's mom being around if it is going to be the first child. Anyone disagrees?


5. Now if you plan to have the delivery in the city where you live and plan to call over the mother-to-be's parents, it is good but I have seen quite a few instances where the parents are extremely uncomfortable about the thought of staying over at the daughter's place. Some go to the extent of feeling stifled and not use facilities such as phone and are for ever waiting to go back after a month. Now this doesn't put the new mother at ease as virtually she is running the show from giving directions to the maid, the domestic help, cook etc as they are used to her and not her mother.


6. Plan well ahead of when you want to take off from work. A good 8 week break before delivery will do good if you can afford it. If you are working from home, then there is nothing to fret about at all.


7. If you are moving to another city for your delivery, then enquire about the hospital and the gynaec and set up an appointment well ahead in time. Carry all your reports with you and discuss with your current gyanec to make a concise report for the new doc as well. They do it themselves but it helps being open with them. You might also want to check the reputation of gynaec in normal deliveries. I have heard of a lot of Doctors who prefer to do only Cesareans.
   

I am not sure how much it helped but my delivery was a breeze because of the amazing support system and I owe every bit to my mom's exemplary management of the show.