Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Have it all and yet no peace!

The number of accessories available for kids these days never ceases to amaze me. Potty chair for potty training, high chair to feed the baby, changing table to change diapers, strollers and prams to walk the baby, tubs to bathe the baby, bouncers to calm the baby and the list goes on and on. And yet, mothers are never tired of cribbing and complaining how tough is to raise a child - with all the conveniences and comforts that you get today. With none of these when I was brought up, my mother brought me up happily never once complaining what a pain it was to feed a baby who would run up and down the corridor for a good hour or so for every feed during the day. She was skinny, did all the household chores and yet raised me cheerfully. For most of us, with all the gadgets right from heating water in a minute to a car to go to the Paediatrician to a machine to wash and dry clothes, there is no hardship in life. Yet I find mothers of day starting every conversation with "I'm so tired of bringing this child up" to "I am going to kill the person who talks about us having a second baby" to "Aah..I didn't have the time to pick up your call." to "No time for social life" " to "Isne bahut pareshan karke rakha hai...wakes up at 4 every morning" to "Poore ghar mein ghoomtha rahtha hai" to "isne mera mobile thod diya" Well, who said parenthood was rosy and it is natural for a kid to crawl and do the things they do.

It is a moment of introspection and I am looking for answers. With most people having a maid to help them out with the chores and a nanny for the baby complain about their depleting social life, tiredness all the time and the wish to hop into the bed at the first chance. Why? Has our energy levels come down or has our expectations of life gone up? Did we intend to lead the same life as was pre-kids?


Usha said...

Yes, our bodies are much less attuned to physical activity. We might gym for working out but sweeping or mopping is not our cup of tea. So yes, the amount of sitting down. carrying the baby, cleaning up that raising a baby requires seems exhausting.
Secondly we have had the luxury of time to ourselves unlike earlier generations of Indian women who always put the needs of others before themselves and did it in a natural way. So when a child comes and demands so much of our time, it seems very draining.